Oh BSE, Oh BSE

Now, for those who doesn't know what BSE is, it stands for Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Mad Cow Disease.  Now since Canada was honest enough back in 2003 to report they found BSE, to appease the other countries in the world, there has been a surveillance program to evaluate the risk of BSE.  So when a cow is down and unable to rise, instead of shoot, shovel and shutup, the vet is called out to shoot, scoop and send out.  We have to take off their heads to get a piece of their brain for testing - yes, our many years of veterinary training has come down to helping the Canadian Food Inspection Agency proving that there is a very low BSE risk in the country, and therefore keeping markets up.  The rancher (in Saskatchewan) gets $75, and the Saskatchewan vet gets $90 to practice his head cutting off skills - and in my area, it barely pays for the gas - I know in Alberta the rancher gets over $200, and unless it changed, the vet also got over $200 to do the job - seemed to be lucrative in the gas province to do-not sure what the other provinces dish out. 

Now that you know the history BSE, perhaps this christmas song will make some sense (and maybe cents if the radio plays it).  Sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree", everybody sing!

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

I have to cut your head right off,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

A piece of brain I will send off.

Did I go to school for eight long years,

Just to read old tags in ears,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

Your head will soon be coming off.

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

My knife does not seem very sharp,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

I couldn't even cut a carp.

If I had brought a butter knife,

I may get this done within this life,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

Can I get a knife to be Wilkshire sharp?

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

The wind is blowing in my face,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

The windchill turns things to a race.

My fingers feel like they've been froze,

Along with them there are my toes,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

The wind chill will pick up my pace.

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

I finally found the vertebrae,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE,

I spooned the piece of brain, HOORAY!

It is safely in a sample cup,

We'll wipe the blood and send it off,

Oh BSE, Oh BSE

Coyotes will drag your head away.

Is There A Room?

The expectant mother, full with child, asked if there was any room at the inn.

The innkeeper said there was no room. 

The innkeeper's manager said there was no room.

 The expectant mother called the Better Business Bureau and lodged a complaint.  Lodging was soon obtained, just in the (St.) nick of time. 

She did receive a bill though for cleaning, and extra lodgers.

Eleven Days Til Christmas

To get in the mood for season, I thought I would share this little diddy...

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my husband gave to me...

Eleven or so dogs,

Ten more bills to pay,

Nine eggs from the henhouse,

Eight all the cookies,

Seven hours of riding,

Six packs for parties,

FIVE PAILS OF MILK (from Daisy),

Four cups of cream,

Three more bills to pay,

Two foggy to see,

And a backache and a very bad knee.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 

 



Southern Comfort Was Not Comforting

My day started yesterday with pregnancy testing 240 heifers yesterday - they had been hauled in to the auction mart to do, and after the first 50 was done, we had a coffee break - with Tim Horton's doughnuts no less!   Oh, and there was a little bit of Bailey's as well.  There happened to be a few more coffee breaks as we waited for loads to come, but we got them all done in pretty good time.  You see, last night was the Mankota Community Christmas Party - and Chris and I went.  When I got home and cleaned up, I thought I should start getting comforted with some Southern Comfort.  By the time we got to supper, the Comfort had hit me hard.  This is where I have to apologize - in order to eat, our tables had to tell a joke or sing.  I chose to tell a joke - and then helped a few other tables to eat when I told jokes for them.  After the last joke, I was asked not to do anymore - on account that I had made one person leave.  Oops.  Reminder to self - no native jokes.  Guess I will have to find a bunch of Newfie jokes now - I don't think there are any in the community.  Can't tell blonde jokes - there are loads of them about.  Maybe fat jokes would work next time.  Maybe I should just learn to shut my mouth.

I am not quite sure how long we stayed, but there was some dancing done, losing an earring in the production.

I woke up this morning, having lost the other earring...and somehow my glasses.  I looked everywhere (which was quite difficult) that I could think of.  I finally found them on the floor of Dora the Explorer.  I also found my earring, and the mate was found swept up from the dance. 

I do believe somebody spiked my drinks last night.  I didn't drink that much...I don't think anyways...as much as I remember.

Yup, the vet in Mankota can tie one on.  I certainly don't see my self tieing one on in the near future.  I don't think Mankota can take it....and neither can my head.