Monday, June 21, 2010

Down with Down

Sit down, have a cup of coffee, and put a pair of Depends on - I am going to tell you a true story. On Saturday I went and bought some ducks to work the dogs - I am going to do a demo during Stampede, and wanted to get the ducks ready, you know, fit them for the costumes, teach them some moves-stardom was just inside their reach, but it wasn't in their stars.

When I brought them home, in my wisdom, I put them in with the sheep that were kept in electric netting. I thought that they would be okay there. Thinking about it now, I bet the feathers were a great insulator.
They waddled into the caraganas, and except for the wondering glances from the sheep, they settled down.
Then I went on with the rest of my day - hauling some sheep home, picking up a horse, and hauling some cattle - as a sidenote, I have found I am quite proficient in backing up a stock trailer. I may open my own livestock transport company.

My last job brought me home 11:30 that night, and when I woke up, I was looking forward in starting the training program for the ducks. The ducks decided to go on the lam-there was only one duck left where I had left them the day before. I did a quick duck looking tour, and found one more duck had wandered to the garden, hiding in the bushes. I searched all day - looking through the trees, listening for any quacking. You would think I could see them -they being so white, and the grass so green-but those girls were in survival mode - they would become statues, not say a word, and get as low to the ground as possible.
Last night before I went to bed, I decided to step outside and have one more listen. I heard a soft quacking, and saw a duck drinking from a water puddle - a quite peaceful sight in the moonlight. I briefly thought I should get Gin to help me get her, but I thought I could get her myself. Stupid thought. After trying to get her for 5 minutes, I left her in the same caraganas where they originally were dropped the day before, and went and got Gin. In the five minutes it took to get Gin, the duck disappeared. Vanished into thin air. Could not find hide nor feather of her. Flocking ducks I thought, if only they flocked. Then I thought I heard the quacking of ducks in the distance - a duck party I thought. A huge duck party for the noise they were making. I took Gin and walked towards the sound in the field, and walked, and walked. The ground got wetter and wetter. The night got darker and darker. I finally came to the realization that I had probably been stalking frogs. By this time, I am about 1/2 mile from home, and walking in my Dawgs. I thought I would cut across the field and get to the road, when I hit another patch of wet ground. I slipped in the mud and lost one of my Dawgs in that ballet move. I took off my Dawgs and walked barefoot through the mud - and all the way Gin was thinking I was going to play fetch with her. A thought crossed my mind after I put my Dawgs back on that I should market that mud to those who do pedicures - it actually felt quite soothing on my tired feet. I finally got home, rinsed my feet off and came inside. The time was 12 am. Then I looked at my feet.

And I took a bath.
I haven't given up on the ducks - in this area, duck hunting season has opened early. I think I am going to buy a camouflage outfit today. Or maybe I should buy replacement ducks.

1 comment:

  1. Had something similar happen to me when I got ducks. They came from a Hutterite colony and I put them in our pond figuring they'd be happy to be there. 45 min later they were gone. Never to be found. I think they are now legends among the Hutterite ducks and all the mommy ducks tell their babies of the ones who found freedom.